MAGA Elites Give Themselves a Christmas Bonus—Courtesy of “Average Joe” MAGA
Well, well, well, it looks like the season of giving is alive and well in one of Virginia’s poorest counties—except this time, it’s not Santa delivering the gifts. Nope, it’s your local Dickenson County Board of Supervisors, handing out Christmas bonuses to some of the highest-paid elected politicians in the county. And guess who’s footing the bill? That’s right—“Average Joe” MAGA, the hardworking taxpayers, already scraping by in one of the most economically challenged regions in the Commonwealth.
In November, the Board of Supervisors generously voted to give all county employees a $500 holiday bonus (all for this!). Not a bad gesture for those doing the day-to-day work of keeping the county running. But this week, Sandlick District representative Richard Thacker decided to spice things up by sneaking a little gift for the big shots onto the agenda. His proposal? To extend that $500 bonus to the county’s five Constitutional Officers: the Sheriff, Treasurer, Commissioner of the Revenue, Commonwealth’s Attorney, and Circuit Court Clerk.
Now, don’t get us wrong—these officers work hard, but let’s not pretend they’re living paycheck to paycheck like the average folks in the county. These are some of the highest-paid elected officials around. Meanwhile, the people footing the bill are working long hours, paying inflated grocery prices, and barely making ends meet. And yet, here come the MAGA Elites, quietly sliding a little extra cash into their own stockings.
What’s more, this wasn’t exactly a transparent or well-thought-out move. Thacker brought up the idea at the last minute, catching some board members off guard. Even the county attorney and administrator seemed unsure about the legitimacy of the proposal. But hey, when you’ve got a motion, a second, and just enough votes to push it through, why let a little confusion get in the way of a good ol’ Christmas bonus for the bigwigs?
The final vote passed 3-2, with board chairwoman Shelbie Willis and Ervinton District supervisor Peggy Kiser standing firm against it. Kudos to them for remembering that Christmas is supposed to be about giving to those in need—not padding the pockets of those who are already doing just fine.
Meanwhile, Average Joe MAGA is left scratching his head, wondering why his tax dollars are going to fund a Christmas gift for folks making triple his salary. Isn’t this the kind of thing MAGA rallies were supposed to stand against? The elites taking care of themselves while the little guy gets left out in the cold?
So as the highest-paid elected officials in the county cash their bonus checks, remember this: the MAGA Elites aren’t in Washington—they’re right here, wearing county-issued Santa hats and singing, “Merry Christmas to us!”
—Mountain Bee Satire
