“Governor Youngkin: Big Pharma’s Guardian Angel and Cannabis Naysayer”
Virginia Democrats have a plan: create a regulated recreational marijuana market to ensure safety, generate $3 billion in tax revenue, and invest in transportation, education, and infrastructure. But Governor Glenn “Red Vest” Youngkin has other priorities—like keeping his billionaire pharma buddies’ profits intact. Why let cannabis compete with overpriced prescriptions when you can veto progress and keep Virginia tied to the past?
The Proposal: A Green Revolution for Virginia
Senator Aaron Rouse (D-Virginia Beach) introduced a bill to establish 350 retail cannabis stores by May 2026. The benefits? Safe, tested products, a dent in the illegal market, and billions in revenue for public projects. Schools, roads, and higher education could all benefit, but Youngkin’s stance makes one thing clear: if billionaires can’t profit directly, it’s a no-go.
Youngkin’s Excuses: A Masterclass in Misdirection & right out of the E-C-T playbook
In his State of the Commonwealth Address, Youngkin rattled off a list of reasons why cannabis retail is just too risky for Virginia:
- “Negative impacts on children’s health and safety”
Never mind that a regulated market would actually prevent untested products from falling into kids’ hands. Youngkin’s “concern” conveniently ignores how unregulated street sales are the real danger. - “Increased gang activity and violent crime”
Because nothing screams gang activity like ID checks at legal dispensaries. Meanwhile, the black market thrives under prohibition. - “Significant deterioration of mental health”
Sure, cannabis has risks—but compare that to the opioid epidemic Big Pharma so generously fueled. Funny how Youngkin glosses over that detail. - “Decreased road safety”
Alcohol is legal, heavily taxed, and a proven road safety hazard. But that’s fine, because its lobbyists have their place at the table. - “Significant costs exceeding the tax revenue”
Let’s talk about those insignificant $3 billion in revenue that could revitalize infrastructure, education, and healthcare. Clearly not worth it, right?
Big Pharma’s Bottom Line: Safe From Competition
Youngkin’s opposition to a cannabis market isn’t about morals or public safety—it’s about ensuring Big Pharma’s stranglehold on the healthcare system remains unchallenged. Legal cannabis would provide an affordable, natural alternative for pain relief and anxiety, cutting into their profits. And that’s a threat his billionaire donors simply can’t tolerate.
While Virginia Stalls, Other States Thrive
Colorado, California, and other states have shown that regulated cannabis markets work. They reduce illegal sales, generate tax revenue, and create jobs. Meanwhile, Virginia clings to outdated policies that protect the wealthy at the expense of its citizens.
Virginia’s Missed Opportunity
Youngkin’s stance ensures that Virginians will continue to buy untested products off the black market, while billions of dollars in potential revenue go untapped. Instead of paving roads and improving schools, the governor seems more focused on protecting the profits of Big Pharma and their grip on healthcare.
The Bottom Line
Governor Youngkin’s refusal to support a cannabis retail market isn’t about protecting Virginians—it’s about protecting billionaire interests. The promise of safer products, better public infrastructure, and economic growth takes a back seat to keeping the wealthy happy.
So while other states move forward, Virginia stays stuck in neutral, thanks to leadership that prioritizes the few over the many. And as always, the billionaires are laughing all the way to the bank.
—Mountain Bee Satire