“Sullivan County’s School Board: Outraged by Exactly What They Voted For in the TN Governor’s Election”
In a move that would make Alanis Morissette proud, the Sullivan County school board has voted 7-0 against Tennessee Governor Bill Lee’s school voucher expansion bill. That’s right, folks—seven people who likely campaigned for the GOP, cheered for Lee’s “bold vision,” and waved flags for policies like Economic Control Theory (E-C-T) are now clutching their pearls as they realize they’ve been duped into dismantling public education. Spoiler alert: this is exactly what they personally voted for.
Vouchers: The Trojan Horse for Public School Demolition
The voucher bill, Governor Lee’s pièce de résistance, is all about diverting public school funds to private institutions under the guise of “school choice.” But let’s be honest—this isn’t about helping poor kids escape failing schools. It’s about giving affluent families a little financial boost for private school tuition while leaving public schools to wither. Yet here we are, with Sullivan County school board members acting shocked and appalled, as if they didn’t know what they signed up for when they backed Lee’s campaign for Governor.
“Wait, This Hurts Public Schools?” Shocker!
Board members like Michael Hughes are suddenly sounding the alarm about the devastating impact vouchers could have on public schools. “This is just another chance for rich people to separate their kids from the poor kids,” Hughes declared, channeling his inner populist. He also pointed out that $7,000 won’t even come close to covering private school tuition, especially in areas where it can cost upwards of $28,000 per year.
Funny how the math didn’t seem to matter when these same voters put Lee in office on a platform that explicitly prioritized private school funding. Now that the chickens have come home to roost, they’re scrambling for cover, pretending they’re champions of public education.
“People in Nashville Telling Us What to Do”
Former principal Mary Rouse complained about “people in Nashville telling me what to do in a classroom who have never spent a day in one.” Oh, Mary. You mean the same Nashville politicians you and your neighbors helped elect? The same politicians who made it crystal clear that their goal was to centralize control, cut public school funding, and privatize education? If irony were an Olympic sport, Sullivan County would be taking home gold.
The Billionaire Playbook: E-C-T in Action
Let’s not forget, this isn’t just about school vouchers. This is Economic Control Theory (E-C-T) at work—a billionaire-backed scheme to gut public institutions and funnel taxpayer money into private hands. The voucher program is step one in a master plan that includes slashing public school budgets, increasing class sizes, and ensuring that only those with deep pockets can afford quality education. But hey, Sullivan County, at least your vote helped Lee keep his campaign promise, right?
“We Were Never Contacted!”
Chairman Matt Price lamented that local leaders like Mayor Richard Venable didn’t consult with school officials before signing a letter supporting the voucher bill. Let’s be real, Matt—consultation isn’t exactly the strong suit of a political movement built on top-down mandates. When you support politicians who prioritize billionaire donors over local communities, don’t be surprised when they leave you out of the loop.
“This Blows My Mind”
Board member Mark Vicars expressed disbelief at the voucher program being labeled as “Bill No. 1” for the special session. “The schools in our area are doing a good job,” Vicars said, pointing out that private school tuition is unaffordable for most families, even with the vouchers. Mark, buddy, the goal was never to help working-class families. It’s about systematically dismantling public education and replacing it with a profit-driven system that rewards the wealthy. Welcome to the game you personally voted for.
The Hypocrisy Olympics: Sullivan County Edition
Every board member voiced opposition to the bill, citing concerns about its impact on public schools, special education, and the state’s retirement system. But let’s not forget: many of these same officials likely supported Governor Lee and his policies during their campaigns. Now that the consequences are here, they’re scrambling to rewrite the narrative, hoping voters won’t notice the glaring hypocrisy.
The Final Act: Buyer’s Remorse
Hughes asked whether the voucher program would help poor students. Spoiler alert: it won’t. He predicted it would mostly benefit affluent families who already send their kids to private schools. Correct again, Michael. But where was this energy during the election? The time to oppose these policies was before they were signed into law, not when they’re about to hit your district like a wrecking ball.
The Bottom Line
Sullivan County’s school board just got a front-row seat to the GOP’s masterclass in dismantling public education. They can grandstand all they want, but their 7-0 vote is a little too late. The voucher program is the logical outcome of the policies they voted for—and now they’re reaping what they sowed.
So, Sullivan County, enjoy the show. You wanted “school choice”? You got it. But don’t act surprised when your public schools are left holding the bag, and private institutions rake in taxpayer dollars to build new swimming pools for the elite. After all, this is exactly what you voted for a few Novembers ago.
–Mountain Bee Satire