Americans, brace yourselves! The Boston Tea Party 2.0 is upon us, and once again, our coffers are under siege. The good citizens of Southwest Virginia and Southside Virginia have been surrendered without a shot fired, their livelihoods bartered away like trinkets for King Donald’s gilded throne and Emperor Elon’s towering empire of silicon and steel.
In the shadow of deafening silence, our local GOP politicians — who were once sworn to defend the common folk — have bowed their heads, kissed the ring, and left us to the mercy of economic tyranny. They offer us no protection as these tariffs, like a horde of British Redcoats, march into our lives.
Mark my words, these tariffs will pillage our grocery stores first. Where once a man could afford a basket of bread, meat, and milk, he will now need the treasury of King Solomon himself! A pound of bacon will cost more than a gold ingot, and potatoes will rival pearls in price. Flour will flow as scarcely as rum in a dry county.
But this economic oppression will not end there! No, the curse of tariff taxation will spread like wildfire through our factories, fields, and workshops. Southwest Virginia’s hard-working families — those who rise at dawn to labor in the mines, the offices, and the mountains — will feel the iron grip of inflation. Jobs will wither like crops in drought. The specter of unemployment will hang heavy in the air, smothering hope like a wet woolen blanket.
Yet all this unfolds while our supposed defenders in Richmond sit mute, pretending their hands are tied while the tyrants in Washington hoist the tariff banner higher still. Is there no end to this madness? Must we stand idle while the hard-earned coin of our farmers, coal miners, and shopkeepers is snatched away by this new imperial tax?
I say NO!
Let us rally once more to the cause of liberty! Let the sons and daughters of Virginia rise up and pour their voices into the wind. Let us dump this economic oppression into the sea, just as our fathers cast King George’s tea into Boston Harbor!
As my good friend Patrick Henry would say, “Give me liberty from tariff taxation, or give me death!”
Paul Revere